“I am responsible for what I say…not what you hear!” I’ve seen several friends share something similar to this on Facebook over the past couple of years. It sounds perfectly logical…if you live in a vacuum and don’t care about relationships or communication.

It’s true that you can’t MAKE someone understand you. You can’t GUARANTEE that your words will be understood and your feelings will be conveyed. However, it’s your responsibility as a leader, mentor, parent, student, teacher, doctor, etc to communicate with your audience in mind. You can throw up your hands, turn your head and say “Oh well! I told them. Not my fault if they didn’t get it!” or you can take a little time and effort to do your best to communicate your thoughts, feelings and intentions. In my life I do this on a daily basis by:

• Not using jargon. Words, phrases and abbreviations might be very commonplace to you but sound like a foreign language to others. Your audience might not ask you for clarification because they don’t want to look “stupid.” Don’t put them in that position. Often our jargon becomes second-nature. Ask someone to bring it to your attention if you have trouble catching yourself.
• Mirroring my audiences communication style. On a daily basis I might talk to a surgeon, elementary teacher, factory worker, teenager and an elderly patient with dementia. I don’t change who I am depending on who I’m talking to, but I certainly change my communication style to make sure I am understood. Always remember to whom you’re speaking.
• Restating key points in a different way. Don’t be needlessly repetitive, but make sure to state the same key point using different words at a different time during the conversation. It might be that second phrase that really sticks.
• Reading (to the best of my ability) my audience’s expression and body language. Granted, some people don’t HAVE expressions or appropriate body language, but you can often tell if someone is confused, uncomfortable or bored. This is important information. Use it!

If you take an “it’s not my problem” approach to communication you’ll never grow as a leader or a person. What techniques do you employ to assure you are understood?