Tag Archives: relationships

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Work Week Devotion 08.28.2016

Matthew 5:14-16

Matthew 5:14a, 16 (NIV): You are the light of the world… In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

You were put where you are for a purpose. In front of your students, co-workers, patients, fellow parents. You were meant to be a searchlight in the black night.* The love and light of Christ should shine through you for all to see. How do you accomplish this? Through good deeds.

Your good deeds will look different from your neighbor’s good deeds. Maybe it’s a kind word, a helping hand, forgiveness and grace when it’s least deserved or taking the high road (even if you get a nose bleed!) When you do more than expected or don’t repay ugly with uglier you might get a “Wow! How/why did you do that?” and that’s your chance to praise your heavenly Father. “God loves me so much and He wants me to share that love with others. I want you to know that He loves you, too.”

Loving Father, thank you for giving us the opportunity to be Your light in a dark world. Help us recognize opportunities for good deeds and give us the wisdom and courage to act on them. Let it be not be for our glory but so others will recognize and praise You. Amen.

*This catchy line is courtesy of my friend, Jon Henninger

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Work Week Devotion 08.14.2016

Colossians 3:23

Colossians 3:23 (NLT): Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.

People can be tough sometimes! They’re demanding, irrational and unappreciative. They don’t always DESERVE your best, but God asks you to give them your best anyway. When you serve a difficult person in love, it says nothing about what they deserve but a lot about the Lord of your life. Rest assured that God sees each time you are mistreated and all of your effort that you think goes unnoticed.

When you get discouraged and are tempted to cut corners remember that God honors good work. When you are ready to throw your hands up in frustration, imagine Jesus standing in front of you. In serving others you are serving and representing Him.

Heavenly Father, Thank you for loving us and giving us the opportunity to love others. Help us remember that even difficult people are created and loved by you. Show us how to serve You through serving others. Amen.

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Just Keep Scrolling

Avoiding negativity in a saturated life

I’ve heard that Facebook makes you hate people you thought you liked and Pinterest makes you love people you’ve never met. Unfortunately, I think there is a lot of truth to that. I love social media (obviously) but with it comes the opportunity to be offended, self-righteous, paranoid and just plain negative right at your finger tips, any time, day or night.

While there is a lot of evil in the world, I truly believe there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:8-10.) I believe the difference is what my good friend Kari said “In our society everything is a BIG DEAL!” Nothing goes unanalyzed. Nothing is a minor annoyance. We are bombarded by, expected to have an opinion on and debate so many things. Many of which we have absolutely no control over. It can cause lack of sleep, damage to relationships and loss of joy. I really like what Scott Alexander says in Rhinoceros Success (Lampo Press 1980):

Do not ignore the negative but don’t saturate yourself with it, either. We become the product of three things: the people we associate with, the books we read and the media we listen to.

Care deeply. Influence the part of your world that you can. Educate yourself. Vote. Make a difference. Don’t be drawn into negativity and don’t become bitter. If you are a Christian, your theology may be sound and your values may be correct but you can destroy your witness and damage the church through negative media banter. Don’t kid yourself that you are simply expressing some righteous indignation. You probably aren’t. You are quite possibly being a jerk.

Resisting social media negativity looks different for different people. Maybe you have to limit time spent on your devices. Maybe you have to unfollow some people who are always pushing your buttons. Maybe you have to sit on your hands. Maybe you have to just keep swimming scrolling. Maybe, just maybe, you need to have a real, face-to-face conversation about something really important. Identify what is most likely to put you in a place of negativity and have a strategy to avoid those things. Have a plan to stay positive. Here’s a good plan:

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. – Philippians 4:8

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Gratefulgiving

November…the month where people who have complained on social media for the last 10 months suddenly become thankful. I’m sure you’ve seen the posts from friends and family listing things they are thankful for. You’ve no doubt also seen the sarcastic memes and comments from others admonishing them for being hypocrites. It’s not hypocritical to choose to express thankfulness. In fact, it’s when we don’t FEEL thankful that it’s most important to acknowledge that there is always, always something to be thankful for.

When we are thankful we are remembering the blessings in our life and acknowledging things that have turned out the way we hoped they would. Being thankful is a great first step, but it’s through gratefulness that we personally grow and change lives. Gratefulness is expressing thankfulness. Gratefulness grows you as a person and blesses others. Be intentional to show appreciation to others in your life. Say “thank you” to your server, mail carrier, co-workers, boss, clients, pharmacist, anyone who works to make your life better or helps you to accomplish what you need to in every day life. Even the simplest expression of appreciation can turn a day around both for the recipient and the giver.

We are all hypocrites. Every single one of us. We deny our words with our actions. Our emotions are all over the place. We’re singing praises one day and complaining the next. When you choose to express thanksgiving regardless of your previous attitude you chisel away at your selfish nature. But, as with so many things, it’s the action accompanying the feelings that makes the difference in your life and in others.

In this season of thanksgiving remember the words of John F. Kennedy “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words but to live by them.”  If you need a place to start, make a list of what you are thankful for and consider how you can express gratefulness for those things. How can you turn your thanksgiving into a blessing?

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Children and Parents and Spouses…Oh My!

Learn to help people with more than just their jobs. Help them with their lives. – Jim Rohn

No one lives in a vacuum. We don’t work in one, either. My team has lives and marriages and kids and parents. We’ve gone through cancer, surgeries, tragic death of loved ones, divorce, problems with kids, chronic illness of parents, job loss of spouses…the list goes on and on… As a leader I can’t focus on their work-life and job performance without taking home-life into consideration. I am human, so sometimes I’ve handled these situations better than others, but I always try to err on the side of grace.

My goal is to serve my patients and my team. My team is my most valuable resource and is indispensable in the success of my practice. That means I need to make their lives better with the resources I have and genuinely care about their well-being. If I haven’t improved the lives of the families represented on my team I have failed, regardless of what the report from my accountant says.

It goes without saying that hourly wages should be fair. Bonus/incentive programs, insurance and retirement plans are always welcome. The problem with ending here? These things are the expected minimum. They are necessary but don’t actively “pour into” the lives of your team members. Here are just a few things I’ve found that seem to improve the life and well-being of my team:

  • onsite chair massage
  • back-to-school gift cards/supplies
  • seminars/certification/continuing education
  • flexible days off
  • including family in events
  • FOOD!

Maybe your team and workplace look very different from mine. Maybe you can offer working from home or in-office daycare. Maybe you’re just starting out and have ZERO extra funds to allocate. The important thing is to be observant and sensitive to the needs of your team and be creative in improving their lives at work and at home.

  • As a business owner or leader what are some creative ways you (could) invest in the lives of your team?
  • As an employee what would make a difference for you in your workplace?
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The Power of a Smile

I love to smile! I am a generally happy person and as Buddy says in the movie Elf  “I just like to smile! Smiling’s my favorite.” Although I smile a lot, I hate my smile in pictures about 90% of the time. When I scrutinize a photo of myself I see: the cleft in my chin, a narrow mouth (especially compared to my huge face,) lips that thin out when I smile and buck teeth with a chipmunk-esque overbite. I want my smile in pictures to portray how I feel when I smile but it seldom does and that’s frustrating.

Fortunately, my smile doesn’t have to look good in pictures to make a difference in someone’s life. A smile is the same in any language, country or culture. While on a mission trip in the Brazilian Amazon, a Brazilian pastor shared (through a translator) that he had been praying for me and God gave him a message for me. He said my smile had great healing powers. God was using it and wanted to encourage me to keep using it because it was “very, very powerful.” What an incredible and humbling experience! It’s not often one gets a message like that, yet I still sit here able to tell you exactly what I DON’T like about this smile that God gave me to use.

Your smile is your welcome to everyone you meet. It can put people at ease, make communication easier, break down emotional barriers and say things when words aren’t even possible. Your smile can also change how you feel. It’s hard to have a smile on your face and be grouchy. I am a big believer in “fake it ’til you make it” when it’s appropriate. Sometimes you have to smile first and feel smiley second. It might be a forced smile at first, it might not feel natural, you might even be grumbling under your breath, but I’d be willing to bet that the longer you keep that smile on your face the more relaxed and real it will become.

Mother Teresa said “Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” Who can you heal with a smile this week? Maybe YOU are the one who will benefit most. I dare you to smile every single morning and every single afternoon. Smile when you talk on the phone. Smile at your kid or your spouse that you’re frustrated with. Smile at someone who obviously needs it. Smile at your boss. Smile at your server or the person behind you in the grocery store line. Make it a point to smile a little more and let me know how it impacts your week!

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Leaving a Legacy

Memorial day has come and gone. Graduation ceremonies abound. It’s a perfect time to think of the potential that is within all of us and the legacy we will leave behind. Do you ever think about the legacy you will leave? Psalm 112:1-3 says:

1 Praise the Lord! How joyful are those who fear the Lord
    and delight in obeying his commands.
2 Their children will be successful everywhere;
    an entire generation of godly people will be blessed.
3 They themselves will be wealthy,
    and their good deeds will last forever.

Their children will be successful EVERYWHERE. An ENTIRE generation will be blessed. Their good deeds will last FOREVER. Now that is a legacy! Our good decisions can bless an entire generation and our good deeds can last forever. Conversely, our poor decisions can become our legacy and influence generations to come. The decisions you make in business and in life have eternal consequences. What a privilege and responsibility!

Even if we don’t have children of our own or a protege training directly under us, we all have successors. Any child near you is watching everything you do (much more than they are listening to what you say.) You have teams at work and church. Maybe you lead a class or hold a political office. I have nieces and patients and young church friends and members of my community who are watching the decisions I make and how I handle myself.

Who is YOUR “next generation?”

What legacy do you want to leave? What are you doing to cultivate your legacy?

 

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It IS What They Hear!

“I am responsible for what I say…not what you hear!” I’ve seen several friends share something similar to this on Facebook over the past couple of years. It sounds perfectly logical…if you live in a vacuum and don’t care about relationships or communication.

It’s true that you can’t MAKE someone understand you. You can’t GUARANTEE that your words will be understood and your feelings will be conveyed. However, it’s your responsibility as a leader, mentor, parent, student, teacher, doctor, etc to communicate with your audience in mind. You can throw up your hands, turn your head and say “Oh well! I told them. Not my fault if they didn’t get it!” or you can take a little time and effort to do your best to communicate your thoughts, feelings and intentions. In my life I do this on a daily basis by:

  • Not using jargon. Words, phrases and abbreviations might be very commonplace to you but sound like a foreign language to others. Your audience might not ask you for clarification because they don’t want to look “stupid.” Don’t put them in that position. Often our jargon becomes second-nature. Ask someone to bring it to your attention if you have trouble catching yourself.
  • Mirroring my audiences communication style. On a daily basis I might talk to a surgeon, elementary teacher, factory worker, teenager and an elderly patient with dementia. I don’t change who I am depending on who I’m talking to, but I certainly change my communication style to make sure I am understood. Always remember to whom you’re speaking.
  • Restating key points in a different way. Don’t be needlessly repetitive, but make sure to state the same key point using different words at a different time during the conversation. It might be that second phrase that really sticks.
  • Reading (to the best of my ability) my audience’s expression and body language. Granted, some people don’t HAVE expressions or appropriate body language, but you can often tell if someone is confused, uncomfortable or bored. This is important information. Use it!

If you take an “it’s not my problem” approach to communication you’ll never grow as a leader or a person. What techniques do you employ to assure you are understood?

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Every Walt Needs a Roy

Unless you’ve been living in a cave for the last 75 years (and if that’s the case you’re most likely not reading this) you know of Walt Disney. Have you ever heard of Roy O. Disney? Roy was Walt’s older brother and an integral part of the success of the Disney companies. While Walt was the dreamer, Roy was often the doer. And the voice of reason.

“Every Walt needs a Roy and every Roy needs a Walt. Every dreamer needs a doer. Every starter needs a finisher. Every entrepreneur needs an administrator…If you want to achieve great things, then find the person who supplies what you lack and who lacks what you supply.” Pat Williams How to Be Like Walt: Capturing the Disney Magic Every Day of Your Life (CHI 2004)

We all have certain strengths and weaknesses. It is sometimes good to work to improve upon your weaknesses so they aren’t a hindrance, but it’s always more efficient (and usually more fun) to play to your strengths. Ideally, you find someone who complements you. Someone who is strong where you lack. A Roy to your Walt. When you have people on your team who complement you, far more can be achieved than going it alone.

Some of you are reading this and immediately know “I’m a Walt!” or “Yup. I’m always the Roy.” But don’t worry if it doesn’t seem that simple. Some of us can be either depending on the season of our life or the situation/relationship we are in. For example: I think I’m a pretty good leader most of the time. However, I’m NOT a good administrator. I like to identify potential problems and come up with creative ways to solve them but lack the patience it takes to completely carry out the plan (and heaven forbid I have to make phone calls!) However, at other times in my life I have been the voice of reason and the one who says “That sounds like a good idea, but let’s think about this for a minute. You need a plan!”

“Intrapreneur” is an interesting term that’s been coined fairly recently. I’ll be addressing that in the next post.  In the meantime, if you are a Walt make sure you have a Roy by your side and that you respect and appreciate them. If you are a Roy know that you play a very important role even if it is often “unsung.”  So, at this time in your life, are you a Walt or a Roy?

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Make Some Magic

“Walt’s life teaches us to do a good day’s work and try to make magic for everyone who crosses your path each day. Make their day happy and lighten their burden by taking notice of them.”  – Ron Stark, Disney historian in How to Be Like Walt: Capturing the Disney Magic Every Day of Your Life by Pat Williams (HCI, 2014)

What simple advice to make a HUGE difference in our world! What if each of us as doctors, teachers, business owners, employees, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors and friends made a little effort each and every day to do just a few simple things

  • Do a good day’s work. Go to work. Do your job. Do it well. Do it with joy. Even if you don’t love what you are doing in your career right now, even if you don’t leave your home to do your day’s work, find the joy within you and put your all into your work. The more difficult your work or the less you enjoy it the more fulfilling it will be when you make it good. The day is going to go by anyway…make it a good day!
  • Take notice of people. It’s amazing how many people cross our path on a daily basis. Work, church, store, Facebook, school. How often do you take the time to notice those around you? They are experiencing joys, hurts, confusion, worry and excitement. Even if you don’t have time for a lengthy conversation, Care. Smile. Touch. You might be the only kindness in a difficult day.
  • Make magic and lighten their burden. How cool is that? Doesn’t it just make you smile when you think about making “magic” for someone? Bring someone a cup of coffee or hot chocolate (it’s 20 degrees as I write this)  Write a thank you note. Pass out stickers. YOU can lighten someone’s burden. That is POWERFUL my friends!

When at Walt Disney World a few years ago, my sister was waiting with her almost-two year old in the hot afternoon sun while the rest of the family did something else. A cast member (Disney speak for employee) came over and presented them with some ice cream stating that “Mrs. Potts” (you know, the teapot from Beauty and the Beast) had sent it out to them. Cast members at Disney are empowered to create magic for guests. YOU can do the exact same thing for those you come in contact with. It doesn’t have to take money. It often doesn’t take a lot of time. You just have to be a little intentional. Do a good day’s work. Take notice. Make some magic.