Tag Archives: communication

Posted on

Work Week Devotion 08.13.2017

James 3:1

James 3:1 (NLT): Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly.

When someone with military training commits a violent crime, they are often judged more harshly by the courts in light of the training they have received and the responsibility they have accepted. The Bible makes it clear that teachers in the church will be judged more strictly. It is imperative that we remember there are many reasons we could and should be held to a higher standard.
Are you a teacher, doctor or other respected member of the community? It matters what others see you doing socially.
Are you a leader at your workplace? How you react to situations and conduct yourself personally matters.
Do you identify yourself as a Christian? Everything you say OR POST will be put under a microscope, so act accordingly!
You will be judged more strictly. Is it fair? No. Is it right? Absolutely.

Patient Father, Thank You for giving us the opportunity to make a difference in the world. Help us to remember that everything we say and do matters. Please forgive us when we misrepresent Jesus with our words and actions. Amen.

Posted on

Work Week Devotion Easter 2017

Mark 10:43-45

Mark 10:43-45 (NIV): “…Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

This world tells us to climb the ladder of success and step on as many people as we need on the way up. Our status is determined by how many people are “under” us; who is at our beck and call. As Christians, we are supposed to become more like Jesus as we live in this world. He was above everyone yet He had a servant’s attitude. We should expect no less from ourselves.

Who is your manager, boss or leader? Serve them.
Who do you manage, direct or lead? Serve them.
Serve them like Jesus would – whether or not you think they deserve to be served.

Father God, thank you for showing us the perfect example of servant leadership in Jesus. Please forgive us when pride, insecurity or a hardened heart prevent us from serving others. Help us to serve others the way Jesus would. It’s because of Him and His sacrifice that we can pray – Amen.

Posted on

Work Week Devotion 02.26.2017

I Timothy 4:12b

I Timothy 4:12b (NLT): Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith and your purity.

Everyone is watching. An unbelieving world is watching. Other believers are watching. Some are watching for guidance and inspiration. Sadly, some are watching to catch you in a weak moment. We can’t separate the worldly and the spiritual, work and church, recreation and responsibility.

We are to reflect Christ in all aspects of our lives: the way we do business, the way we treat our families, how we act on vacation, our thoughts when we’re alone. We won’t ever be pure and perfect but we should always remember that we are to be an example to all believers and hopefully to non-believers. After all, everyone is watching.

Heavenly Father, thank you for the patience and grace you extend to us. Please forgive us when we do not reflect Christ as we should. Help us to be an example of light to fellow believers and to an unbelieving world. Amen.

Posted on

Work Week Devotion 02.19.2017

James 1:19

James 1:19b (NLT): …you must all be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry.

It’s been said that we often listen to respond rather than listen to understand. You’ve also probably heard that we have 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason – we should listen twice as much as we speak. Imagine a world where we all listened to understand and talked about half as much as we currently do. Forget about a world; imagine an office, a home, a classroom.

A leader listens before speaking and does not let her emotions rule her actions. A leader is eager to understand another’s point of view and does not quickly get defensive or angry. A leader realizes that listening is a counter-intuitive act that takes practice and intentionality to cultivate.

Patient Father, thank you for the gift of communication. Help us to be quick to listen and slower to respond. Please forgive us when we get it backwards. Amen.

Posted on

Life Planning Date

Just do it!

I love the word “intentional” and I long to live every day of my life in an intentional manner. Unfortunately I am far, far from that. One discipline that gets me closer to living intentionally is having a life planning date with my husband. I am a firm believer in this and have had several people ask me about it so here is a slightly more instructional blog than what I usually write.  I hope it helps you to live a more productive, intentional, peaceful life!

My husband and I usually do our life planning date at the beginning of the quarter (January, April, July, October) but will occasionally do it more often. We plan on discussing the coming three months. You don’t have to wait until the beginning of the quarter and you don’t have to plan out three months ahead if that seems overwhelming to you. You can start small but I encourage you to start SOON.

  • You must leave your house!!! On Mondays I work through lunch and am done seeing patients around 2:30 so we like to have our life planning date during this time. Set aside two hours and pick a restaurant that has big tables where you can relax. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT attempt to have a life planning date at your home. Even if you send your kids away you will be too distracted and/or will not take the exercise seriously. Make this an event and something to look forward to. Maybe even go shopping or out to a movie afterwards (but not before!)
  • It’s important to have the right tools for the job. I recommend a legal pad, writing utensils and of course your calendar or planner (paper and/or electronic) Even if you are a very digital person I recommend having the legal pad and pen so you can scribble notes while you talk. You might have some great brainstorming moments!
  • Discuss what you want to accomplish. This is going to be different for everyone but here are some suggested topics to plan: kids activities, church activities, work projects, work trips, vacations, home projects big and small, financial goals, personal goals, holiday plans…
  • The goal is for you both to be on the same page and know what activities are coming up and who needs to be where and when. Hopefully you’ll both come away with a prioritized to-do list and an accurate calendar.

If you’ve never done something like this before it might seem weird or awkward at first. Your spouse (or you!) might think it’s a silly idea. I’m not sure what my husband thought about it at first but now I think he looks forward to it as much as I do. A note to my single friends: this can work for you too! I took myself out to dinner a few weeks ago because I needed to be very focused on making some lists and planning some important things coming up. Getting yourself out of your familiar environment and intentionally concentrating on tasks at hand can be very productive!

I hope this exercise helps you as much as it has me. There’s something very empowering about setting aside time to talk about goals, come up with a plan and walk away feeling prepared as a unified team. I would LOVE to hear about your experience with life planning dates! Share in the comments below!

Posted on

Make New Friends

Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver and the other gold!

I think I sang this song in Girl Scouts approximately 782 times. Of course we all know this is true from a figurative standpoint. Friendships are more valuable than any precious metal, but did you know that it can be taken literally as well? In his book Thou Shall Prosper (John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 2010, pg. 61), Rabbi Daniel Lapin has this to say about business and friendship: “Only by actively, perhaps even joyously, interacting with other people can the circumstances of wealth creation be set in place.”

Making friends to try and get something from people NEVER works. It is, of course, also obnoxious. Happily, the side-effect of genuine relationships is expanding business contacts. One of the things I love about having a practice and going to church in the same small-ish (it’s big enough for me!) town is getting to know people and support their business endeavors as they support mine. I wrote about that a little bit in “No Free Pizza!” https://www.smileservesucceed.com/no-free-pizza/ (which is probably my most popular post to date!) I have recently started seeing posts on Facebook encouraging people to share links to their small business to encourage keeping it local when Christmas shopping. I love seeing that!

Expand your circle. Care for people. Care about their well-being. Find ways to serve them and meet their needs. Do it because friendships make our lives fuller and richer. Do it because we were made for relationships. Enjoy the unexpected business rewards as they come.

Are you actively seeking out new, genuine relationships? Where and how?

Posted on

Just Keep Scrolling

Avoiding negativity in a saturated life

I’ve heard that Facebook makes you hate people you thought you liked and Pinterest makes you love people you’ve never met. Unfortunately, I think there is a lot of truth to that. I love social media (obviously) but with it comes the opportunity to be offended, self-righteous, paranoid and just plain negative right at your finger tips, any time, day or night.

While there is a lot of evil in the world, I truly believe there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:8-10.) I believe the difference is what my good friend Kari said “In our society everything is a BIG DEAL!” Nothing goes unanalyzed. Nothing is a minor annoyance. We are bombarded by, expected to have an opinion on and debate so many things. Many of which we have absolutely no control over. It can cause lack of sleep, damage to relationships and loss of joy. I really like what Scott Alexander says in Rhinoceros Success (Lampo Press 1980):

Do not ignore the negative but don’t saturate yourself with it, either. We become the product of three things: the people we associate with, the books we read and the media we listen to.

Care deeply. Influence the part of your world that you can. Educate yourself. Vote. Make a difference. Don’t be drawn into negativity and don’t become bitter. If you are a Christian, your theology may be sound and your values may be correct but you can destroy your witness and damage the church through negative media banter. Don’t kid yourself that you are simply expressing some righteous indignation. You probably aren’t. You are quite possibly being a jerk.

Resisting social media negativity looks different for different people. Maybe you have to limit time spent on your devices. Maybe you have to unfollow some people who are always pushing your buttons. Maybe you have to sit on your hands. Maybe you have to just keep swimming scrolling. Maybe, just maybe, you need to have a real, face-to-face conversation about something really important. Identify what is most likely to put you in a place of negativity and have a strategy to avoid those things. Have a plan to stay positive. Here’s a good plan:

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. – Philippians 4:8

Posted on

The Power of a Smile

I love to smile! I am a generally happy person and as Buddy says in the movie Elf  “I just like to smile! Smiling’s my favorite.” Although I smile a lot, I hate my smile in pictures about 90% of the time. When I scrutinize a photo of myself I see: the cleft in my chin, a narrow mouth (especially compared to my huge face,) lips that thin out when I smile and buck teeth with a chipmunk-esque overbite. I want my smile in pictures to portray how I feel when I smile but it seldom does and that’s frustrating.

Fortunately, my smile doesn’t have to look good in pictures to make a difference in someone’s life. A smile is the same in any language, country or culture. While on a mission trip in the Brazilian Amazon, a Brazilian pastor shared (through a translator) that he had been praying for me and God gave him a message for me. He said my smile had great healing powers. God was using it and wanted to encourage me to keep using it because it was “very, very powerful.” What an incredible and humbling experience! It’s not often one gets a message like that, yet I still sit here able to tell you exactly what I DON’T like about this smile that God gave me to use.

Your smile is your welcome to everyone you meet. It can put people at ease, make communication easier, break down emotional barriers and say things when words aren’t even possible. Your smile can also change how you feel. It’s hard to have a smile on your face and be grouchy. I am a big believer in “fake it ’til you make it” when it’s appropriate. Sometimes you have to smile first and feel smiley second. It might be a forced smile at first, it might not feel natural, you might even be grumbling under your breath, but I’d be willing to bet that the longer you keep that smile on your face the more relaxed and real it will become.

Mother Teresa said “Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” Who can you heal with a smile this week? Maybe YOU are the one who will benefit most. I dare you to smile every single morning and every single afternoon. Smile when you talk on the phone. Smile at your kid or your spouse that you’re frustrated with. Smile at someone who obviously needs it. Smile at your boss. Smile at your server or the person behind you in the grocery store line. Make it a point to smile a little more and let me know how it impacts your week!

Posted on

Be a Tour Guide

Do you ever think of yourself as a tour guide? If human beings enter your place of work you should adopt a tour guide mentality. Those who are attempting to do business with you want guidance and security. One of the worst feelings is being lost and floundering. I can think of three examples in the last few months that made me feel that way:

  1. Entering a sit-down chain restaurant. The hostess was cute with a very sweet smile, but that’s all she did. When we entered the building she just stared and smiled at us. I finally said “2” and she picked up two menus and sort of motioned for us to follow her. It was very awkward, but at least she was smiling, which brings me to the next example…
  2. Entering a dry cleaners. The woman behind the counter just stared at me and picked up a pen. No “hello,” no “how can I help you,” no “how many pieces do you have,” not even the smile I got from the aforementioned hostess. I honestly wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do, so I just put my clothes on the counter. She filled out the ticket and told me when they would be ready. Those were the only words she spoke to me.
  3. At the end of an exam at a quick clinic. I had a severe ear infection that had hit out of nowhere. The provider was pleasant, she asked me questions, she explained what was going on and what she was going to do and then walked out of the room. I was left to find my way back to the front to check out and I really wasn’t sure where I was supposed to go. I can hear my ten year-old niece saying “awkward!”

I don’t ever want my patients to feel that way. I’m sure you don’t want your customers to feel that way either. Welcome them. Guide them. Let them know what to expect and when to expect it. Let them know when they need to do something and when they can just relax. Don’t leave them guessing. It’s awkward, it’s frustrating, it can lead to misunderstandings.

You are working hard to give your customers/clients/patients a good experience. Make sure they know they’re getting a good experience! Don’t assume that they can absorb all that’s going on and appreciate it. Figuratively (or literally when it’s appropriate) take their hand and guide them through your process. Don’t make them work for it. Make it easy for them. You can perform every step perfectly to complete the interaction, but if the person you’re interacting with doesn’t know what’s going on, most of it will be lost.  Be a tour guide.

 

Posted on

It IS What They Hear!

“I am responsible for what I say…not what you hear!” I’ve seen several friends share something similar to this on Facebook over the past couple of years. It sounds perfectly logical…if you live in a vacuum and don’t care about relationships or communication.

It’s true that you can’t MAKE someone understand you. You can’t GUARANTEE that your words will be understood and your feelings will be conveyed. However, it’s your responsibility as a leader, mentor, parent, student, teacher, doctor, etc to communicate with your audience in mind. You can throw up your hands, turn your head and say “Oh well! I told them. Not my fault if they didn’t get it!” or you can take a little time and effort to do your best to communicate your thoughts, feelings and intentions. In my life I do this on a daily basis by:

  • Not using jargon. Words, phrases and abbreviations might be very commonplace to you but sound like a foreign language to others. Your audience might not ask you for clarification because they don’t want to look “stupid.” Don’t put them in that position. Often our jargon becomes second-nature. Ask someone to bring it to your attention if you have trouble catching yourself.
  • Mirroring my audiences communication style. On a daily basis I might talk to a surgeon, elementary teacher, factory worker, teenager and an elderly patient with dementia. I don’t change who I am depending on who I’m talking to, but I certainly change my communication style to make sure I am understood. Always remember to whom you’re speaking.
  • Restating key points in a different way. Don’t be needlessly repetitive, but make sure to state the same key point using different words at a different time during the conversation. It might be that second phrase that really sticks.
  • Reading (to the best of my ability) my audience’s expression and body language. Granted, some people don’t HAVE expressions or appropriate body language, but you can often tell if someone is confused, uncomfortable or bored. This is important information. Use it!

If you take an “it’s not my problem” approach to communication you’ll never grow as a leader or a person. What techniques do you employ to assure you are understood?