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Does Wealth Equal Success?

How would you define success? Many of us equate wealth with success, and it IS often a barometer of success. However, lack of wealth does not necessarily mean you aren’t successful AND wealth isn’t always what you think it should be.

“People who work hard sleep well, whether they eat little or much. But the rich seldom get a good night’s sleep.” Ecclesiastes 5:12

Success can look like many different things to different people. Maybe it’s early retirement, more time with your kids while they’re young, the ability to work from home, the freedom to say “no,” being able to give to charities. If you focus only on your net worth as a measure of success you might be missing a lot of blessings or, even worse, you could completely miss how your life is intended to bless others.

Lack of wealth does not equal lack of success or favor. We often think “If only I had more money, a bigger house, a nicer car…” wealth can actually be a source of anxiety. More stuff equals more to maintain, insure, protect…and more to lose. If you are discouraged because you don’t have more money or more stuff maybe you should be thankful instead. Maybe, just maybe, God is giving you just what you need when you need it and saving you from worry you don’t need or can’t handle right now.

Maya Angelou said “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do and liking how you do it.” If I could say those three things every day I would consider my life a success. How would YOU define success?

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Ambition – Friend or Foe?

It’s a new year! For so many of us this means evaluating what we accomplished last year and setting new goals for this year. In contrast, I do know some people who staunchly refuse to make any resolutions because “No one ever sticks with them anyway.” I believe that, new year or not, goals are very important. Goals allow us to be intentional about growth and, if we’re not growing, we’re dying.

God has given us the skills and desires to be ambitious and to achieve. He gave Adam a job even before he gave him a mate. (Genesis 2:15)  Jesus celebrated the servants who invested and multiplied their bags of gold. (Matthew 25:14-30) All through the bible, God uses those who are good workers. Healthy ambition allows us to improve and achieve for ourselves, our families, our church and our communities.  In contrast, lack of ambition/laziness does not honor God, fulfill our familial obligations or help advance our communities.

Any talk of achievement begs the question: Where does healthy ambition end and unhealthy ambition/selfishness begin? Ecclesiastes chapter 7 warns against extremes. Jamie Allen, senior pastor of Central Christian Church in Mt. Vernon, IL gives two “guardrails” against uncontrolled ambition.

  • Ambition must be controlled by love for your family. This guardrail has to do with time. Family must always take priority over money, career, status and material things. Most of us who work outside the home spend more waking hours at work than at home most days. If you can’t have quantity, make sure you have quality. Maximize the time you have with your family. Make sure the people at home know they are more important than the people at work. If your family relationships are suffering because of your goals you are probably slipping into unhealthy ambition.
  • Ambition must be controlled by your love for God. This guardrail has to do with integrity. A Christian’s ambition has to be controlled by integrity. Others aren’t always aware of your motives but your motives will be brought out into the light eventually. Nothing is important enough to violate what God commands. If you find yourself willing to tell “a little white lie,” change the date on that document or take advantage of someone (even if it’s legal) to achieve your goals you are traveling down the road of selfish ambition.

Don’t be afraid to be ambitious, set some goals and work to achieve them. There is honor in that success. You can bless others with that kind of success. Just make sure you don’t let selfishness overtake healthy ambition.

**I highly recommend watching the lesson that inspired this post. Go to http://www.thenewcentral.com/ondemand and choose “First-2.”

 

 

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Gratefulgiving

November…the month where people who have complained on social media for the last 10 months suddenly become thankful. I’m sure you’ve seen the posts from friends and family listing things they are thankful for. You’ve no doubt also seen the sarcastic memes and comments from others admonishing them for being hypocrites. It’s not hypocritical to choose to express thankfulness. In fact, it’s when we don’t FEEL thankful that it’s most important to acknowledge that there is always, always something to be thankful for.

When we are thankful we are remembering the blessings in our life and acknowledging things that have turned out the way we hoped they would. Being thankful is a great first step, but it’s through gratefulness that we personally grow and change lives. Gratefulness is expressing thankfulness. Gratefulness grows you as a person and blesses others. Be intentional to show appreciation to others in your life. Say “thank you” to your server, mail carrier, co-workers, boss, clients, pharmacist, anyone who works to make your life better or helps you to accomplish what you need to in every day life. Even the simplest expression of appreciation can turn a day around both for the recipient and the giver.

We are all hypocrites. Every single one of us. We deny our words with our actions. Our emotions are all over the place. We’re singing praises one day and complaining the next. When you choose to express thanksgiving regardless of your previous attitude you chisel away at your selfish nature. But, as with so many things, it’s the action accompanying the feelings that makes the difference in your life and in others.

In this season of thanksgiving remember the words of John F. Kennedy “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words but to live by them.”  If you need a place to start, make a list of what you are thankful for and consider how you can express gratefulness for those things. How can you turn your thanksgiving into a blessing?

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Children and Parents and Spouses…Oh My!

Learn to help people with more than just their jobs. Help them with their lives. – Jim Rohn

No one lives in a vacuum. We don’t work in one, either. My team has lives and marriages and kids and parents. We’ve gone through cancer, surgeries, tragic death of loved ones, divorce, problems with kids, chronic illness of parents, job loss of spouses…the list goes on and on… As a leader I can’t focus on their work-life and job performance without taking home-life into consideration. I am human, so sometimes I’ve handled these situations better than others, but I always try to err on the side of grace.

My goal is to serve my patients and my team. My team is my most valuable resource and is indispensable in the success of my practice. That means I need to make their lives better with the resources I have and genuinely care about their well-being. If I haven’t improved the lives of the families represented on my team I have failed, regardless of what the report from my accountant says.

It goes without saying that hourly wages should be fair. Bonus/incentive programs, insurance and retirement plans are always welcome. The problem with ending here? These things are the expected minimum. They are necessary but don’t actively “pour into” the lives of your team members. Here are just a few things I’ve found that seem to improve the life and well-being of my team:

  • onsite chair massage
  • back-to-school gift cards/supplies
  • seminars/certification/continuing education
  • flexible days off
  • including family in events
  • FOOD!

Maybe your team and workplace look very different from mine. Maybe you can offer working from home or in-office daycare. Maybe you’re just starting out and have ZERO extra funds to allocate. The important thing is to be observant and sensitive to the needs of your team and be creative in improving their lives at work and at home.

  • As a business owner or leader what are some creative ways you (could) invest in the lives of your team?
  • As an employee what would make a difference for you in your workplace?
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The Power of a Smile

I love to smile! I am a generally happy person and as Buddy says in the movie Elf  “I just like to smile! Smiling’s my favorite.” Although I smile a lot, I hate my smile in pictures about 90% of the time. When I scrutinize a photo of myself I see: the cleft in my chin, a narrow mouth (especially compared to my huge face,) lips that thin out when I smile and buck teeth with a chipmunk-esque overbite. I want my smile in pictures to portray how I feel when I smile but it seldom does and that’s frustrating.

Fortunately, my smile doesn’t have to look good in pictures to make a difference in someone’s life. A smile is the same in any language, country or culture. While on a mission trip in the Brazilian Amazon, a Brazilian pastor shared (through a translator) that he had been praying for me and God gave him a message for me. He said my smile had great healing powers. God was using it and wanted to encourage me to keep using it because it was “very, very powerful.” What an incredible and humbling experience! It’s not often one gets a message like that, yet I still sit here able to tell you exactly what I DON’T like about this smile that God gave me to use.

Your smile is your welcome to everyone you meet. It can put people at ease, make communication easier, break down emotional barriers and say things when words aren’t even possible. Your smile can also change how you feel. It’s hard to have a smile on your face and be grouchy. I am a big believer in “fake it ’til you make it” when it’s appropriate. Sometimes you have to smile first and feel smiley second. It might be a forced smile at first, it might not feel natural, you might even be grumbling under your breath, but I’d be willing to bet that the longer you keep that smile on your face the more relaxed and real it will become.

Mother Teresa said “Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” Who can you heal with a smile this week? Maybe YOU are the one who will benefit most. I dare you to smile every single morning and every single afternoon. Smile when you talk on the phone. Smile at your kid or your spouse that you’re frustrated with. Smile at someone who obviously needs it. Smile at your boss. Smile at your server or the person behind you in the grocery store line. Make it a point to smile a little more and let me know how it impacts your week!

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Be a Tour Guide

Do you ever think of yourself as a tour guide? If human beings enter your place of work you should adopt a tour guide mentality. Those who are attempting to do business with you want guidance and security. One of the worst feelings is being lost and floundering. I can think of three examples in the last few months that made me feel that way:

  1. Entering a sit-down chain restaurant. The hostess was cute with a very sweet smile, but that’s all she did. When we entered the building she just stared and smiled at us. I finally said “2” and she picked up two menus and sort of motioned for us to follow her. It was very awkward, but at least she was smiling, which brings me to the next example…
  2. Entering a dry cleaners. The woman behind the counter just stared at me and picked up a pen. No “hello,” no “how can I help you,” no “how many pieces do you have,” not even the smile I got from the aforementioned hostess. I honestly wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do, so I just put my clothes on the counter. She filled out the ticket and told me when they would be ready. Those were the only words she spoke to me.
  3. At the end of an exam at a quick clinic. I had a severe ear infection that had hit out of nowhere. The provider was pleasant, she asked me questions, she explained what was going on and what she was going to do and then walked out of the room. I was left to find my way back to the front to check out and I really wasn’t sure where I was supposed to go. I can hear my ten year-old niece saying “awkward!”

I don’t ever want my patients to feel that way. I’m sure you don’t want your customers to feel that way either. Welcome them. Guide them. Let them know what to expect and when to expect it. Let them know when they need to do something and when they can just relax. Don’t leave them guessing. It’s awkward, it’s frustrating, it can lead to misunderstandings.

You are working hard to give your customers/clients/patients a good experience. Make sure they know they’re getting a good experience! Don’t assume that they can absorb all that’s going on and appreciate it. Figuratively (or literally when it’s appropriate) take their hand and guide them through your process. Don’t make them work for it. Make it easy for them. You can perform every step perfectly to complete the interaction, but if the person you’re interacting with doesn’t know what’s going on, most of it will be lost.  Be a tour guide.

 

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Catfish to Corneas

It happened again today. Today, it was because I was having lunch with a friend in our old hometown at a restaurant where we used to work. My family was the original owners and I worked there for many years. It happens every few months at other places, though. Sometimes I am overcome by the overwhelming feeling that no matter how successful a doctor or business owner I am, a part of me will always, ALWAYS miss waitressing. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am thankful that I don’t have to depend on waiting tables to make a living, but I really did love it that much.

More than once, while interviewing a potential employee for my optometric practice, I’ve asked them about a restaurant job on their resume. More than once, the candidate has looked a little embarrassed and said something like “Oh. I was just a waitress.” and I will almost shout “No! Don’t EVER say you were just a waitress.” (unless, of course, you were just a really really bad one!)

I spent four years in optometry school learning to be a doctor, but what I learned as a teenager and young adult working in a busy, very casual, restaurant and a busy, slightly upscale, retail shop has helped me be successful in more ways than I could probably even list. I couldn’t have imagined at the time, but looking back I can see how my spiritual gift of hospitality and secondary love language “acts of service” were in play throughout my entire life.

Having a servant’s heart is a blessing and a benefit, but did you realize you can build your serving skill set? That’s what those of us with a history in the restaurant or retail industry were doing, even at a young age. It’s important to recognize and hone those serving skills. Don’t ever think anything is too insignificant.  If serving fried catfish to boaters straight off the river or motorcyclists fresh off the road can help me be a better doctor, your past service experiences can serve you, too.

To be competitive in any business today, service is the key. If you are looking to better your career situation, and you have experience in the service industry, perfect those skills and market them! If you are an employer interviewing job candidates don’t forget how seemingly unrelated jobs (waiting tables, retail, etc) can give great experience for other life-long careers in business. And always remember: that friendly server at your favorite restaurant? She could be your eye doctor one day!

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Leaving a Legacy

Memorial day has come and gone. Graduation ceremonies abound. It’s a perfect time to think of the potential that is within all of us and the legacy we will leave behind. Do you ever think about the legacy you will leave? Psalm 112:1-3 says:

1 Praise the Lord! How joyful are those who fear the Lord
    and delight in obeying his commands.
2 Their children will be successful everywhere;
    an entire generation of godly people will be blessed.
3 They themselves will be wealthy,
    and their good deeds will last forever.

Their children will be successful EVERYWHERE. An ENTIRE generation will be blessed. Their good deeds will last FOREVER. Now that is a legacy! Our good decisions can bless an entire generation and our good deeds can last forever. Conversely, our poor decisions can become our legacy and influence generations to come. The decisions you make in business and in life have eternal consequences. What a privilege and responsibility!

Even if we don’t have children of our own or a protege training directly under us, we all have successors. Any child near you is watching everything you do (much more than they are listening to what you say.) You have teams at work and church. Maybe you lead a class or hold a political office. I have nieces and patients and young church friends and members of my community who are watching the decisions I make and how I handle myself.

Who is YOUR “next generation?”

What legacy do you want to leave? What are you doing to cultivate your legacy?

 

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It IS What They Hear!

“I am responsible for what I say…not what you hear!” I’ve seen several friends share something similar to this on Facebook over the past couple of years. It sounds perfectly logical…if you live in a vacuum and don’t care about relationships or communication.

It’s true that you can’t MAKE someone understand you. You can’t GUARANTEE that your words will be understood and your feelings will be conveyed. However, it’s your responsibility as a leader, mentor, parent, student, teacher, doctor, etc to communicate with your audience in mind. You can throw up your hands, turn your head and say “Oh well! I told them. Not my fault if they didn’t get it!” or you can take a little time and effort to do your best to communicate your thoughts, feelings and intentions. In my life I do this on a daily basis by:

  • Not using jargon. Words, phrases and abbreviations might be very commonplace to you but sound like a foreign language to others. Your audience might not ask you for clarification because they don’t want to look “stupid.” Don’t put them in that position. Often our jargon becomes second-nature. Ask someone to bring it to your attention if you have trouble catching yourself.
  • Mirroring my audiences communication style. On a daily basis I might talk to a surgeon, elementary teacher, factory worker, teenager and an elderly patient with dementia. I don’t change who I am depending on who I’m talking to, but I certainly change my communication style to make sure I am understood. Always remember to whom you’re speaking.
  • Restating key points in a different way. Don’t be needlessly repetitive, but make sure to state the same key point using different words at a different time during the conversation. It might be that second phrase that really sticks.
  • Reading (to the best of my ability) my audience’s expression and body language. Granted, some people don’t HAVE expressions or appropriate body language, but you can often tell if someone is confused, uncomfortable or bored. This is important information. Use it!

If you take an “it’s not my problem” approach to communication you’ll never grow as a leader or a person. What techniques do you employ to assure you are understood?

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Night is Coming

I can’t believe we only have 2/3 of 2015 left! I’m still making plans of what I think I’ll do this year. I’m still in analysis paralysis mode. That happens to me a lot. I’m pretty good at making plans, but I’m not always good at executing them. “As soon as things slow down…” “later.” “When I have more time…” are things I tell myself when I have a good idea. I love the word “intentional” but I am not as intentional with my time as I should be. I tend to go through life subconsciously feeling like I have all the time in the world. Jesus warns us against that.

In John 9:14 (NIV) He says “As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work.” Jesus is telling his followers that a time is coming when they won’t be able to work, so they must do all they can while they can.

It’s important to live with a sense of urgency. Not panic or sheer busyness but intentional urgency. We only have so much time to accomplish what God would have us do. Thinking we have all the time in the world to accomplish our purpose is the worst kind of procrastination. We have lives to enhance, people to serve and children to teach. We have prayers that need to be placed at the throne and praises that need to be lifted to heaven.

We all have goals and dreams that have been placed in our heart for a purpose. There are things on Earth that you were put here to accomplish and no one is exactly equipped like you. Night is coming. It always gets here quicker than you ever think it will. Search your heart. Make your plan. Most importantly, take action before it’s too late.