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Life Planning Date

Just do it!

I love the word “intentional” and I long to live every day of my life in an intentional manner. Unfortunately I am far, far from that. One discipline that gets me closer to living intentionally is having a life planning date with my husband. I am a firm believer in this and have had several people ask me about it so here is a slightly more instructional blog than what I usually write.  I hope it helps you to live a more productive, intentional, peaceful life!

My husband and I usually do our life planning date at the beginning of the quarter (January, April, July, October) but will occasionally do it more often. We plan on discussing the coming three months. You don’t have to wait until the beginning of the quarter and you don’t have to plan out three months ahead if that seems overwhelming to you. You can start small but I encourage you to start SOON.

  • You must leave your house!!! On Mondays I work through lunch and am done seeing patients around 2:30 so we like to have our life planning date during this time. Set aside two hours and pick a restaurant that has big tables where you can relax. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT attempt to have a life planning date at your home. Even if you send your kids away you will be too distracted and/or will not take the exercise seriously. Make this an event and something to look forward to. Maybe even go shopping or out to a movie afterwards (but not before!)
  • It’s important to have the right tools for the job. I recommend a legal pad, writing utensils and of course your calendar or planner (paper and/or electronic) Even if you are a very digital person I recommend having the legal pad and pen so you can scribble notes while you talk. You might have some great brainstorming moments!
  • Discuss what you want to accomplish. This is going to be different for everyone but here are some suggested topics to plan: kids activities, church activities, work projects, work trips, vacations, home projects big and small, financial goals, personal goals, holiday plans…
  • The goal is for you both to be on the same page and know what activities are coming up and who needs to be where and when. Hopefully you’ll both come away with a prioritized to-do list and an accurate calendar.

If you’ve never done something like this before it might seem weird or awkward at first. Your spouse (or you!) might think it’s a silly idea. I’m not sure what my husband thought about it at first but now I think he looks forward to it as much as I do. A note to my single friends: this can work for you too! I took myself out to dinner a few weeks ago because I needed to be very focused on making some lists and planning some important things coming up. Getting yourself out of your familiar environment and intentionally concentrating on tasks at hand can be very productive!

I hope this exercise helps you as much as it has me. There’s something very empowering about setting aside time to talk about goals, come up with a plan and walk away feeling prepared as a unified team. I would LOVE to hear about your experience with life planning dates! Share in the comments below!

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Work Week Devotion 10.02.2016

Philippians 4:7

Philippians 4:7 (NLT): Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

To have peace! To be still! It’s what we crave in the midst of our busyness. If I only had more time…If the kids were more calm or didn’t have so many activities…If my spouse were available to help more…If my job would slow down…If I could just get this one project done…We live in a world of constant motion and stimulation.

Peace isn’t the absence of activity, it is the presence of Christ in our heart and mind regardless of the whirlwind around us. We can’t make the world slow down and be peaceful for us but we can find peace in the midst of our busy world. We can access that peace no matter where we are or what we’re doing – meeting in the boardroom, teaching in the classroom, doctoring in the exam room or vacuuming in the living room.

Father God, thank you for being our peace in the midst of our whatever. Help us to remember that we can access that peace at any time and any place. Let us be an example of Your peace in a world that so desperately needs it. Amen.

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Work Week Devotion 09.25.2016

Proverbs 16:3

Proverbs 16:3 (NIV): Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.

Most of us like to have a plan. We have a goal and plan to get there. What do you do when life doesn’t go as planned? Do you throw up your hands in despair? Do you work harder to force your agenda even when it’s obvious that it’s not working? How many times have you had to look back, at best sheepishly, or at worst extremely thankful, that your plan was thwarted?

The key to God’s hand in your success is having His input from the beginning. Prayerfully set your goals. Commit your plans to the Lord. Work diligently, always seeking His leading. Be prepared to change the course even if it wasn’t in your original plan. Never forget that the One who establishes your plans has ways that are far better than ours.

All Knowing Lord, Thank you for having plans far better than we could ever imagine. Please send us reminders to seek Your will in our plans from the beginning and look for Your leading as we strive to achieve our goals. Please forgive us when we try to run ahead on our own. Amen.

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Make New Friends

Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver and the other gold!

I think I sang this song in Girl Scouts approximately 782 times. Of course we all know this is true from a figurative standpoint. Friendships are more valuable than any precious metal, but did you know that it can be taken literally as well? In his book Thou Shall Prosper (John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 2010, pg. 61), Rabbi Daniel Lapin has this to say about business and friendship: “Only by actively, perhaps even joyously, interacting with other people can the circumstances of wealth creation be set in place.”

Making friends to try and get something from people NEVER works. It is, of course, also obnoxious. Happily, the side-effect of genuine relationships is expanding business contacts. One of the things I love about having a practice and going to church in the same small-ish (it’s big enough for me!) town is getting to know people and support their business endeavors as they support mine. I wrote about that a little bit in “No Free Pizza!” https://www.smileservesucceed.com/no-free-pizza/ (which is probably my most popular post to date!) I have recently started seeing posts on Facebook encouraging people to share links to their small business to encourage keeping it local when Christmas shopping. I love seeing that!

Expand your circle. Care for people. Care about their well-being. Find ways to serve them and meet their needs. Do it because friendships make our lives fuller and richer. Do it because we were made for relationships. Enjoy the unexpected business rewards as they come.

Are you actively seeking out new, genuine relationships? Where and how?

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Work Week Devotion Labor Day 2016

The Importance of Rest

Mark 6:31 (NIV): Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

God made us to need rest. Rest renews, refuels and re-energizes us. It prevents us from being burned out and stressed out. It allows us to serve God and serve people with energy and passion that is not available when we stretch ourselves too thin. It gives us the physical and mental stamina we need to tackle whatever comes up at work or at home.

God ordained rest from the beginning. The all-knowing, all-capable Creator of the universe and life itself took time to rest. He established the Sabbath and feasts that made rest a law in the old testament. Imagine a culture where refusing to rest was punishable!

There are several reasons we don’t get the rest we require. We wear the title of “busy” like it’s a badge of honor. We say “yes” to too many things. We feel guilty when we slow down. We’ll rest tomorrow. We are called to emulate Christ in every way that we can. Jesus rested and so can you! The Bible gives several examples where Jesus rested, Matthew 14:23, Mark 1:35, John 6:15 and Luke 5:16 just to name a few. When was the last time you got some real rest?

Heavenly Father, You knew from the beginning that Your creation would need rest. Thank you for giving us a way to renew ourselves physically and spiritually. Please forgive us for neglecting this gift. Help us to remember how important it is to rest in You and open our eyes to those opportunities. Amen.

 

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Work Week Devotion 08.28.2016

Matthew 5:14-16

Matthew 5:14a, 16 (NIV): You are the light of the world… In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

You were put where you are for a purpose. In front of your students, co-workers, patients, fellow parents. You were meant to be a searchlight in the black night.* The love and light of Christ should shine through you for all to see. How do you accomplish this? Through good deeds.

Your good deeds will look different from your neighbor’s good deeds. Maybe it’s a kind word, a helping hand, forgiveness and grace when it’s least deserved or taking the high road (even if you get a nose bleed!) When you do more than expected or don’t repay ugly with uglier you might get a “Wow! How/why did you do that?” and that’s your chance to praise your heavenly Father. “God loves me so much and He wants me to share that love with others. I want you to know that He loves you, too.”

Loving Father, thank you for giving us the opportunity to be Your light in a dark world. Help us recognize opportunities for good deeds and give us the wisdom and courage to act on them. Let it be not be for our glory but so others will recognize and praise You. Amen.

*This catchy line is courtesy of my friend, Jon Henninger

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Work Week Devotion 08.21.2016

Ecclesiastes 7:14

Ecclesiastes 7:14 (NLT): Enjoy prosperity while you can,
but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God.  Remember that nothing is certain in this life.

Matthew 5:45b (NLT): For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.

We want to practice being faithful when things are easy and when things are tough, in times of plenty and in times of want. We can look at the life of Joseph (Genesis 37, 39-45) – favored in his father’s house, thrown away by his brothers, falsely accused, thrown in/forgotten in jail, finding favor with the king, gaining power and ultimately showing grace to his brothers. He certainly had a roller coaster of a life! We can’t always see the “big picture” or the whole of God’s “upper story.” Sometimes we get blind-sided by a health issue or the actions of others. When these things happen we must resist the “why me?” attitude and remember what it says in Matthew 5:45. We can follow the example of Joseph and do our best to remain faithful in the ups and downs of life remembering that nothing is certain – the sun shines and the rain falls on the just and unjust alike – but God is faithful and one day it will all make so much more sense.

Thank you, Father, for being faithful and good even when we are not. Help us remember that our fortunes can turn at any time and it’s not necessarily an indication of Your favor but a result of the world in which we live. Help us to be faithful during good times and bad. Please forgive us when our faith falters and we cry “Why me?” Amen.

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Work Week Devotion 08.14.2016

Colossians 3:23

Colossians 3:23 (NLT): Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.

People can be tough sometimes! They’re demanding, irrational and unappreciative. They don’t always DESERVE your best, but God asks you to give them your best anyway. When you serve a difficult person in love, it says nothing about what they deserve but a lot about the Lord of your life. Rest assured that God sees each time you are mistreated and all of your effort that you think goes unnoticed.

When you get discouraged and are tempted to cut corners remember that God honors good work. When you are ready to throw your hands up in frustration, imagine Jesus standing in front of you. In serving others you are serving and representing Him.

Heavenly Father, Thank you for loving us and giving us the opportunity to love others. Help us remember that even difficult people are created and loved by you. Show us how to serve You through serving others. Amen.

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Success Comes to the Unselfish

The title of this article is lifted directly from Rabbi Daniel Lapin’s book Thou Shall Prosper (2010, John Wiley & Sons, Inc.) In it he says

Success comes to the unselfish. Always keep in mind that everything you do must benefit others as much as yourself. The truly successful business professional is never concerned solely with his own welfare.

It goes without saying that a smart business person should

  • keep overhead low (within reason)
  • budget well
  • not spend extravagantly
  • charge a fair price for products/services
  • provide the best value possible in products/services

Once basic smart business principles are in place, the business has to focus on building relationships and meeting the needs of its customers/clients/patients. If a business person is solely focused on the bottom line, they might profit in the short term but they are not fulfilling real needs, offering real value or developing relationships that will sustain their business long term.

The word “unselfish” might seem to be in opposition to the term “business success” but I promise you it’s not. Decisions must be made in the context of what will benefit those you serve – your audience and your team. This philosophy doesn’t only allow you to go home satisfied knowing you have improved someone’s life, it is a proven formula for success and longevity of a business.

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Just Keep Scrolling

Avoiding negativity in a saturated life

I’ve heard that Facebook makes you hate people you thought you liked and Pinterest makes you love people you’ve never met. Unfortunately, I think there is a lot of truth to that. I love social media (obviously) but with it comes the opportunity to be offended, self-righteous, paranoid and just plain negative right at your finger tips, any time, day or night.

While there is a lot of evil in the world, I truly believe there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:8-10.) I believe the difference is what my good friend Kari said “In our society everything is a BIG DEAL!” Nothing goes unanalyzed. Nothing is a minor annoyance. We are bombarded by, expected to have an opinion on and debate so many things. Many of which we have absolutely no control over. It can cause lack of sleep, damage to relationships and loss of joy. I really like what Scott Alexander says in Rhinoceros Success (Lampo Press 1980):

Do not ignore the negative but don’t saturate yourself with it, either. We become the product of three things: the people we associate with, the books we read and the media we listen to.

Care deeply. Influence the part of your world that you can. Educate yourself. Vote. Make a difference. Don’t be drawn into negativity and don’t become bitter. If you are a Christian, your theology may be sound and your values may be correct but you can destroy your witness and damage the church through negative media banter. Don’t kid yourself that you are simply expressing some righteous indignation. You probably aren’t. You are quite possibly being a jerk.

Resisting social media negativity looks different for different people. Maybe you have to limit time spent on your devices. Maybe you have to unfollow some people who are always pushing your buttons. Maybe you have to sit on your hands. Maybe you have to just keep swimming scrolling. Maybe, just maybe, you need to have a real, face-to-face conversation about something really important. Identify what is most likely to put you in a place of negativity and have a strategy to avoid those things. Have a plan to stay positive. Here’s a good plan:

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. – Philippians 4:8