Monthly Archives: February 2015

Posted on

They’re Watching!

“Hi Dr. Bass! I thought that was you!” said a patient as she stopped by our table at Applebee’s. I was eating lunch with my husband before we went grocery shopping after church one Sunday. I had been fighting a sinus infection, had only felt like eating half of my lunch and the last thing I wanted to do was carry on a conversation with someone but, of course, I smiled and asked her how she was and said that it was nice to see her and I hoped she had a great afternoon. Afterwards, at the grocery store, I think I saw another three patients or so.

Living, working and going to church in the same town means we see a lot of people we know. That’s ok. In fact, most of the time I like it. I dreamed of being a doctor most of my childhood and being recognized as the friendly neighborhood optometrist always went right along with that. (My sister will tell you I’ve always wanted to be famous!) I once sat with a group of young doctors at a luncheon while they discussed how terrible it would be to live in the same town where they worked. One actually said “I can’t imagine having to see my patients at the grocery store! The last thing I want to do is talk to them after hours!” While I understand and agree that we all need a time to turn off, if you are a doctor, teacher, business owner or church leader that is just not going to be an option for you a lot of the time. Is it fair? No. Is it what you signed up for? Yes.

For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.  Luke 12:48b

To be respected as the professional you are, you have to act respectable no matter where you are.

I can’t tell you what is appropriate for you or what you can or cannot do. (Trust me, I would often like to, but it’s really not my place.) While we are far from perfect, my husband (who is on stage a lot at our church) and I really try to be careful about what we say and do in public and what we post on social media. We do not want to represent ourselves, my practice or our church poorly. Is it fair that we should have to worry about how others interpret our actions? No. Is it what we signed up for? Yes.

You have the right to do whatever you want to do. Unfortunately you do not have the power to keep your actions from reflecting on you and your organization. If you want to be a success and have a positive influence on your community you have to be conscious of this fact.  Everything speaks and those around you are listening. Make sure you are telling the story you want them to hear.

 

Posted on

Know Their Love Language

Many of you are familiar with the concept of Dr. Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages.” If you aren’t – you should be! It doesn’t matter if you’re single or in a relationship, married or not, parent or grandparent, a person of faith or staunch unbeliever. If you have relationships with people at home, church, work or school it is beneficial for you to be aware of the concept of love languages. It will help you show love and appreciation and improve communications with everyone you are in relationship with.

The 5 Love Languages are:

  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Acts of Service
  3. Receiving Gifts
  4. Quality Time
  5. Physical Touch

Dr. Chapman claims that everyone has a “love tank” that needs to be filled. The tricky part is we don’t all run on the same type of fuel. If you put regular gasoline in a vehicle that requires diesel fuel it will not respond well. Likewise, if you are showering gifts on someone whose primary love language is quality time they are likely to be left feeling unloved no matter how hard you “think” you’re trying. It doesn’t take much of a stretch to see how this concept would be beneficial in dealing with spouses, children, friends and co-workers. Most of us can also think back to a time when we felt a parent or other loved one wasn’t showing us love but, in reality, they were just speaking a different love language.

My primary love language is Words of Affirmation and my secondary language is Acts of Service. My husband’s primary language is Physical Touch and his secondary is Acts of Service. Understanding this has allowed us to show love to one another and also learn to receive tokens of love in the way they are meant. It has enhanced our relationship and helped to reduce misunderstandings.

It doesn’t take much to learn your or your loved-one’s primary love language and begin to apply it. There are resources if you are married, single or parenting. Most recently, The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace has been published to apply this concept to our work and ministry lives. The 5 Love Languages website is a great place to start exploring this concept and you can take an online assessment to determine your primary love language.

www.5lovelanguages.com

How have you used knowledge of the 5 Love Languages to improve relationships in your life? If you haven’t applied these principles how do you think they would be beneficial in your relationships?

 

Posted on

Tough Decisions

I had to call a snow day today. Now, as when I was a kid, I really like a snow day. But, I HATE having the responsibility of making the decision. It’s harder than you might think. And you’re always going to make someone unhappy. I guarantee it.

Let me give a brief synopsis of what calling a snow day at my optometric practice means. It means everyone gets to stay home BUT the office goes without revenue for a day and several families go without a day’s pay. It means we don’t have to worry about patients falling in the parking lot BUT some of these patients have waited a long time to get in for their exam and now they will have to take another time off of work to reschedule. There is ALWAYS someone who is very unhappy and is convinced that conditions “weren’t that bad” so we should have been open. Today in particular between two doctors we had thirty-five patients who had to be called (if we had their correct phone number.) That will be thirty-five patients to find another spot for in the next couple of weeks. We don’t have any free spots in the next couple of weeks.

I give you this glimpse of my world to say this: If you are a business owner (or any type of leader for that matter) you have to make some tough decisions. When I write about business I’m assuming three things. 1) You love what you do. 2) You love your team 3) You genuinely care about your clients/customers/patients and want to serve them. Even with these best of intentions, others won’t always understand your decisions and someone isn’t going to like your decisions. I promise. There are three specific groups of people who will have an opinion about your decisions. We all (business owner or not) fall into at least a couple of these categories ourselves.

  1. Family and Close Friends: It is so important to have a good support system. They mean well, but often can’t understand your unique decision-making issues. You’ll hear a lot of “Don’t worry about it” and “Who cares what people think” and “They’ll get over it.” Sometimes, this is good advice, but often we DO have to care what others think because it has lasting impact to our business and people are depending on us. It’s also difficult when those close to you think your ideas are just plain kooky (and let’s face it – sometimes they are) because entrepreneurial types just think differently.
  2. Team/Staff: This very important group of people often have inside knowledge of your business but don’t see the big picture like you do. They often see the money coming in but don’t have a real grasp of the cost of running a business. They see how business decisions relate to them, but don’t have all of the information to see how it relates to all the other interlocking parts. They may feel your decisions “aren’t fair” when you’re really doing the best you can.
  3. Clients/Customers/Patients: As consumers it’s all about “me.” We all do it. Your clients evaluate your decisions on how it affects them. They don’t know and often don’t care about taxes, insurance, regulations, operating costs or the other clients you are trying to serve. It’s wonderful when they DO take these things into account, and it does happen, but it’s not their job.

Do what you can to gently educate those you interact with on why you make the decisions you make. Sometimes they are judging based on mis-information or non-information. Make the best decisions you can to serve your business, your team and your clientele. Possibly the best thing you can do is find support in those who are dealing with the same things you are. Not to complain or have a gripe session but to find genuine camaraderie in others who are in the trenches just like you are.

Posted on

Don’t Be Cool (Part II)

Several months ago I read a post by Bruce Van Horn that gave some incredible insight on the word enthusiasm. He said “The word enthusiasm comes from the Greek “en” meaning within and “theos” meaning God. It was used to describe people with God-like abilities or very strong God-inspired ideas and convictions.”

I wrote last time about being passionate and how I’ve felt the need at different times in my life to temper my passion and enthusiasm with being “cool” which (to me it seemed) was synonymous with popular, collegiate and professional. Stifle my excitement or risk not being taken seriously. When I read the above-referenced post it was very affirming. It’s ok, even admirable and desirable to be enthusiastic about important things. Enthusiastic means “God within.” How great is that?

The bible even warns against being cool. Revelation 3:16 says  “16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”

Don’t be cool. Don’t be lukewarm. Be excited! Be enthusiastic! Discover what you’re passionate about and pursue it! If you’re feeling a little brave comment below and tell us what you’re passionate about and what you’re going to do about it.

(follow Bruce Van Horn on twitter @BruceVH or find him on facebook. He has some great positive posts)

Posted on

Don’t Be Cool (Part I)

“The worst possible condition to be in life is cool. Dead animals are cool! Show some emotion!”

I loved reading this at the end of Scott Alexander’s book Rhinoceros Success (Lampo Press 1980) I spent most of my life trying to be cool. I thought to be aloof and unimpressed was akin to being sophisticated. It was hard, because I’m naturally a bit goofy. I get excited and I don’t get tired of or bored with things easily. In high school, I loved band and scholar bowl and the softball team but it seemed like the “cool kids” thought everything was boring and lame. In undergrad, I loved the goofy friends on my honors floor and some of my professors but the “really intelligent” co-eds were always highly unimpressed by others. Now that I’m a doctor, I love my patients and marketing and decorating my office for holidays and teaching my team but the “more experienced” doctors who know how “the world really works” are always exasperated by their staff and patients. As a result, I feel like I’m being unprofessional, silly or naive if I’m too positive or excited about things.

I realize the easiest thing to say is “who cares!” Who cares what other people think? While I can certainly say that I care A LOT less now than I used to, as a human being on planet earth you can’t just not care what others think. You may say you don’t…but you do. We all do. Caring what others think is part of relationships and getting along in society. It’s OK (sometimes even important) to care about what others think of you. But…don’t let it stifle you. Don’t let them rain on your parade when you love to march in the band! If something excites you GET EXCITED! Don’t be a dead animal. Let your passion inspire others.

I’m looking forward to sharing something neat I learned about the origin of the word “enthusiasm.” Until next time tell me: What are YOU passionate about?

P.S. Scott Alexander’s book Rhinoceros Success is a quick read and really good. I would recommend it for anyone wanting to get the most out of their life. You can also check him out at http://scottrobertalexander.com/